The upside to adversity

One of my favorite issues to discuss is resilience, especially as it relates to adolescents.  Within the world of psychology, there are many articles about this topic.  Is it nature or nurture?  Are certain people born with a large capacity for resilience or is it gained as one experiences life's challenges?  I believe it is a combination of both.  While some people may appear to bounce back faster than others, most of us learn how to be mentally tough by experiencing hardship.  For parents, seeing their children experience these hardships can be heartbreaking.  It seems to go against our very nature to “allow” our children to feel pain without jumping in to help.  It is a difficult balance to know when to step back so they can learn how to solve problems on their own, and when intervention is necessary (e.g. mental illness, substance use, extreme bullying, etc.).  

Without a doubt, no matter how hard we try, we will be unable to shield them from all forms of adversity.   This is not necessarily a bad thing.  We develop character by overcoming obstacles, gaining confidence in our ability to solve issues or, at the very least, recover from them.  I often find myself thinking about the following quote:

“Good judgment comes from experience. Experience comes from bad judgment.”  - Jim Horning 

Kids are going to make mistakes, they are going to have their feelings hurt, and they will experience failure.  All the better that they do so when they are still living with their parents who will love and support them through it.  With a strong support system and the right set of coping skills, children can take adversity and turn it into resilience.

 If you ever have any questions about therapy, the process or need a referral, please reach out. I’m passionate about providing education and support!